Why You’re Not Getting the Sex You Want and How to Fix It

Shan Boodram is a certified sex educator, board-certified sexologist, and the leading figure in a new kind of sexual education. Wielding an MS in Psychology and a longstanding curiosity, Shan helps people move towards greater intimacy between their partners and themselves. Born and raised in a predominantly white neighborhood in Canada, Shan’s initially poor experiences with sex led her to educate herself on how to prevent these kinds of experiences from occurring again. She built on this curiosity and self-education with professional training and a growing desire to build a new kind of sex ed. Shan joined Naked Beauty with her usual candor, granting us access to her personal experiences with desire, intimacy, sex, and pleasure. During our conversation, Shan made it clear that her goal isn’t just to get people talking about sex, but to take back their power from dominant narratives about sexual development and education to empower ourselves.

Shan walks us through how her loving relationship with her husband exposed her to unconditional love she didn’t realize she was missing. She offers couples tips on how to have a fruitful sex life while managing the responsibilities of long-term partnership, parenting, and the daily drudgery of life. We covered the more unpleasant side of relationships, like how couples can move away from resentment and towards repair. Shan also provided us with specific examples that we can employ immediately to have better sex with ourselves and our partners. Shan even offered a live demonstration of her favorite sex positions and toys that are sure to please. 

(0:00) Welcome Shan

(3:55) Navigating Beauty In Predominantly White Spaces

(6:55) Novels That Shaped Her Early Understanding Of Intimacy And Sex

(12:40) Masturbation & Self-Pleasure

(18:25) Her Favorite Sex Toys

(23:50) Tapping Back Into Self-Intimacy

(33:20) Shan’s Pre-Intimacy Ritual

(40:00) Incompatible Sex Drives In Relationships

(41:25) Managing Her Shifting Sex Drive During Pregnancy

(42:50) Conversations Couples Should Have About Sex

(45:25) Moving From Resentment To Repair

(48:20) Lightning Round: Easy Sexual Upgrades

(54:25) Show & Tell: Sexual Positions Demonstration

(01:05:57) When Shan Feels The Most Beautiful

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Products Mentioned:

Dr. Poucher All Over Balm

FENTY Beauty Hydra Vizor Sunscreen

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