Why can’t we be normal about polyamory?

Is polyamory about more than just how many partners you have?

According to a YouGov survey from 2023, on a scale of zero being completely monogamous and six being completely non-monogamous, one third of Americans put their answer somewhere above zero. And there are a lot of different types of non-monogamy, but one of those types – polyamory – has been in the discourse as of late. The polyamory that writer Lindy West describes in her new book, Adult Braces, has spawned a thousand takes: her path to polyamory was admittedly kind of dicey, and it spawned discussion about what polyamory means. Polyamory can stand in for a set of political beliefs, class associations and other signifiers that have nothing to do with how many partners one has. But why does a choice about relationship structures feel so weighty, and why can’t anyone be normal about it?

To discuss, Brittany is joined by Christopher M. Gleason, lecturer of American history at Georgia State University and the author of American Poly, a book about the history of polyamory in America.

(00:00) Lindy West and polyamory panic
(02:41) Polyamory’s surprising political origins
(07:02) Can polyamory “fix” relationships?
(12:41) Misconceptions about polyamory (and why it has so many haters)

For more episodes about relationships, check out:
What really counts as “cheating?”
The joy of breaking up with dating apps
Me and my partner don’t see eye-to-eye about AI. Now what?

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