I’m Pleasing Everyone…Except Me Why You Can’t Relax During Sex (Featuring Janelle Toussaint)

Ever been in the middle of sex…and realize you’re not even there?

Yeah. We’re talking about that.

This episode gets real about what it means to be “good” at sex but still feel disconnected from your own pleasure. If you’ve ever found yourself overthinking, performing, or focusing more on your partner than yourself…you’re not alone.

I’m joined by somatic sexologist Janelle Toussaint, and I put myself in the hot seat. We unpack why so many of us struggle to relax during sex, how being stuck in your head shows up in your body, and what it actually takes to experience real pleasure.

This isn’t just about sex.

This is about presence, control, and finally learning how to receive.

What We Talk About

• Why you might be performing instead of actually feeling
• The connection between people-pleasing and sexual pleasure
• What it means to be “in your body” vs stuck in your head
• How mindfulness and everyday habits impact your sex life
• Why asking for what you want feels so hard
• The role of safety, communication, and self-awareness in intimacy
• Practical ways to start reconnecting with your body today

It’s About DAMN Time Segment

It’s about damn time you admit the kind of sex you actually want.

Not what you think you should want.

Not what you’ve been doing out of habit.

What you really want.

Because you can’t experience it…if you won’t even say it.

D.A.M.N. Challenge

This week, slow down.

Pick one moment in your day and be fully present in your body.

It could be in the shower.

Putting on lotion.

Taking a breath.

No rushing. No distractions.

Just you…being there.

Guest Info

Janelle Toussaint is a somatic sexologist and technical product strategist exploring the intersection of intimacy, technology, and human connection. Her work focuses on helping people reconnect with their bodies, understand their desires, and build more intentional relationships.

Follow Janelle:

Instagram & TikTok: @thesextechnologist

Website: https://www.thesextechnologist.com

Connect with Me

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

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