Ep 056: You're scared you'll pass your trauma down to your kids

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Many women struggle with the idea of having children because they fear repeating the same mistakes their mothers made. They worry that they’ll pass on the same pain, the same unhealthy habits, or the same emotional scars. These fears are often rooted in their own experiences growing up, where they might have felt unheard, unsupported, or unloved.

However, it’s important to remember that breaking the cycle is possible. Healing starts with acknowledging these fears and choosing to do things differently. Instead of letting the past control the future, women can choose to learn from it and use it as a guide for what they want to change.

Part of breaking the cycle means understanding that parenting is not about being perfect. It’s about being present, being honest with yourself, and showing your children love and care. When you take time to heal your own wounds, you’re better prepared to help your children grow without repeating the mistakes of the past.

In this episode, I share how healing from a mother wound can transform your parenting. As a solo parent, I emphasize the importance of focusing on your relationship with yourself over perfection in your relationship with your child. I talk about parenting with transparency, vulnerability, and seeing your child as their own person. It’s about doing the inner work to parent from a place of self-awareness, not fear. Tune in for insights on breaking the cycle and creating a healthier relationship with your child.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:10) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:01:21) Vincent got a car!

(00:03:19) The freedom of parenting older kids

(00:04:28) When parenting became triggering

(00:06:07) Heal your childhood trauma

(00:07:50) Parenting isn’t about fixing your childhood

(00:09:50)  Parenting isn’t one-way

(00:11:26) Be real with your kids

(00:13:10) A parent is a child’s first relationship

(00:14:04) What is human parenting?

(00:17:01) Teach boundaries with love

(00:19:10) Feeling “taken from” can trigger hidden wounds.

(00:21:08) Motherhood doesn’t come with all the answers

(00:23:17) Self-awareness leads to better parenting

(00:24:32) The real parenting goal: trust.

(00:26:00) Trust leads to responsibility

(00:27:00) Connection comes from repair

Key Takeaways: 

"You will make mistakes. So if you are trying to avoid every mistake, you are already fucking your kids up even worse."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

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