Ep 035: How to Begin Setting Boundaries

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In life, it’s easy to be tough and assertive when we’re defending someone else or fighting for a cause. We might stand up with confidence and take action when we see injustice or when someone we care about is being treated unfairly. But when it comes to standing up for ourselves, many of us hesitate or even back down. There’s often a sense of guilt associated with prioritizing our own needs.

However, we must learn to advocate for ourselves, speak up, and set healthy boundaries. Remember, boundaries are statements about what you want and need. They are not a conversation to negotiate or a tool to change others' behavior. Instead, they are personal guidelines for how you will respond in situations where your needs are not met. Boundaries are the lines we draw to protect ourselves from being overwhelmed, disrespected, or taken advantage of.  Therefore, we must not allow others to cross these lines because when we fail to establish clear boundaries, we risk losing our sense of self.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:03:43) How the mother wound affects our communication

(00:05:00) Children being seen and not heard

(00:06:12) How gossip takes over women conversation

(00:08:47) Setting a boundary

(00:11:02) Understanding the four parts of boundaries

(00:13:52) How you feel is not up for negotiation

(00:15:09) Understanding how you feel

(00:16:06) Prioritizing how others affect you

(00:19:46) Stand up for yourself

(00:21:26) Don’t settle for ‘what should be’

(00:22:50) Being guilty vs feeling guilty

(00:23:57) Healing the fear of punishment

(00:25:23) The power of speaking up

Key Takeaways:  

"Most people think a boundary is a conversation, something to be negotiated. It is not; it is a statement."– Jennifer Arnise 

"Healing your mother wound is all about you regaining autonomy."– Jennifer Arnise 

"Most people think a boundary is a conversation, something to be negotiated. It is not; it is a statement."– Jennifer Arnise 

"You have the power to build a new reality of support and community around you."– Jennifer Arnise 

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

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