E10: Part 2: How to Achieve Alignment with Your Spouse

We need to be aligned with our spouse to keep our marriage healthy. And in God’s direction, any marriage can flourish and grow.

In this episode, Ian and Kyle are joined by their wives, Michaela and Lindsay, to talk about vulnerabilities and finding alignment as a couple. Join them as they talk about how to create a safe space as a couple through intentional conversations.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

• Find out why alignment is important in a marriage
• Talk about the power of speaking with your spouse
• Understand how God unites two individuals in a marriage
• Find out how to create a safe space as a couple
• Challenge your marriage to grow through Christ

Highlights:

[01:46] Creating Alignment as a Couple

Often, couples can be frustrated with each other when they do not center their relationship on God. When your relationship with God is good, it also reflects the health of your marriage. It’s important to work on yourself daily and be around the people you want to model your marriage after.

[06:36] Taking Ownership of the Situation

You cannot change your partner’s mind, only yours. Taking ownership of certain aspects of a situation can transform your life. When difficult changes meet resistance in you and your partner, you can expect growth in the marriage. Don’t pull back when things start to get hard.

[09:44] Intentional Responses

As a stay-at-home mom, Michaela prioritizes having intentional pauses throughout her day. Taking the time to recoup and touch base with her faith helps her get into the right mindset to handle her kids.

[21:00] Intentional Time with your Spouse

Having a specific time and schedule to have vulnerable conversations with your spouse is important. One way to achieve this is by being intentional with date nights.

[29:47] Dealing with Blow ups

When your spouse opens up about their feelings, help them to process their emotions. As a couple, you can control the number of arguments you have when you give space for vulnerable emotions and conversations. Let your emotions out into the open and resolve them with grace.

[33:32] What Wives Desire from their Spouses

Michaela loves when Ian studies the Word. This practice makes her feel like they are going in the right direction in the relationship. You can protect and secure your marriage by being aligned with God. Knowing your spouse’s love language also shows you are intentional and focused on your marriage.

[38:16] Being Best Friends with Your Spouse

By creating a safe space and knowing the ins and outs of each other, you will naturally become best friends with your spouse. In a marriage, you are both doing life together. You are a team. It’s important to be in union with each other and with God.

Notable Quotes:

[03:11] “Now our marriage is soaring because I’m finding things in God that I was looking for in Ian.”

[07:04] “I’m going to continue praying for you, I can’t change you, I can just take ownership over the things that I can control.”

[13:49] “We can use things externally to create that environment and create that atmosphere to allow us to submit our hearts and to make it easier to posture ourselves to allow the kingdom to truly flow through us.”

Resources Mentioned:

Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink, Leif Babin