THE BOY: 1 in 6 – Groomed, Abused & the Cycle of Violence in Male Childhood Trauma

What happens when a boy is forced to carry a secret so heavy it shapes every part of his life? How do we respond when male survivors of childhood sexual abuse break their silence about grooming, violence, and the lifelong impact of trauma?

Today, we’re confronting the widespread crisis that affects one in six boys before they turn eighteen—a staggering number that is too often hidden by shame, stigma, and disbelief. Most assaults are committed not by strangers, but by people the child knows and trusts, making it even harder for boys to speak out. Society’s expectations of masculinity tell boys to be strong and silent, leaving them isolated and unheard, and allowing the cycle of violence and trauma to continue.

Lisa welcomes Nathan Spiteri—author, advocate, and survivor—who was just eight years old when his world was shattered by a stranger. Nathan takes us step-by-step through the grooming tactics that trap children in fear, the violence that follows, and the toxic shame that warps self-worth and behavior for years to come. He shares how the cycle of abuse and violence led to addiction, self-destruction, and profound confusion about love and belonging.

This episode is not just about pain, but about the power of speaking out. Nathan and Lisa explore how vulnerability is an act of bravery, how naming abuse is the first step toward healing, and why it’s time to end the stigma that keeps male survivors in the shadows. Nathan’s journey shows that breaking the cycle of violence and healing from childhood trauma is possible—with honest conversation, support, and the courage to reclaim your story.

This episode calls on listeners to listen, believe, and stand with all survivors—because progress begins with breaking the silence and ending the cycle of violence for good.

“From now on, this is me. From now on, I am who I am, I can’t change it.”

Just a heads up: This episode contains discussions of child sexual assault, grooming, violence, substance abuse, and suicidal ideation. Some may find it upsetting. We encourage you to take care of yourself.

About Nathan Spiteri:

Nathan Spiteri is the author of Toy Cars, a TEDx speaker, advocate, filmmaker, actor, and screenwriter. Nathan Spiteri is also a sexual abuse survivor. Born in Australia, Nathan was sexually abused as a child, threatened with his life and that of his family.

He is one of the very few voices of male sexual abuse to speak so openly and publicly, and wants to start the conversation and change the narrative surrounding this global epidemic.

Follow Nathan  @nathanspiteri on Instagram. Go to nathanspiteri.com to learn more about his story and his advocacy. You can order Toy Cars here.

Follow Lisa Phillips ⁠@iamlisaphillips⁠ on Instagram.

From Now On is produced by LA PHILLIPS MEDIA. Listen and follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube.

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If today’s conversation resonated with you and you are seeking more support in your own healing journey, here are some resources below:

• If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, help is available. Call 800.656.HOPE (4673)
• If you or someone you know is being trafficked, contact the National Human Trafficking Hotline. Text 233733 (befree).
• PAVE is a 501(c)(3) non-profit creating a world free from sexual violence and building communities to support survivors.
• Speak Out, Act, Reclaim (SOAR) is dedicated to providing a safe and empowering space for survivors of sex trafficking to reclaim their stories and stand up for themselves and each other.