Session 470: Parasocial Relationships

What do we actually get from following someone who will never know we exist? Dr. Maia Niguel Hoskin has spent her career studying that question, and on this episode she breaks down parasocial relationships: the one-sided bonds we form with influencers, celebrities, and increasingly, AI.

Dr. Joy and Dr. Hoskin trace how these relationships move differently for Black women, who are often expected to show up as the loyal supporter for a celebrity the same way they’re expected to show up for everyone else in their lives. They use the backlash against the owner and founder of the global luxury fashion brand Hanifa, Anifa Mvuemba, as a case study in what happens when that loyalty curdles into an expectation that a small business owner can never have an off day, and they revisit the moment writers suggested Kanye West simply needed “a Black woman” instead of a therapist. Dr. Hoskin also shares her own boundary-setting story, stepping away from news and social media for nearly five months when her nervous system couldn’t take any more, and explains why she’s now teaching her counseling students about AI dependency in the same breath as social media addiction, including cases of people treating a chatbot like a romantic partner. The conversation closes on practical, no-platitude advice for knowing when a parasocial relationship has crossed the line from entertainment into something that’s costing you.

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