EP 089: What I’ve Learned in 10 Years of Healing My Mother Wound

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Healing is not a quick process, and it doesn’t follow a fixed timeline. 

 

Years of pain, rejection, and misunderstanding cannot be undone in a short period, no matter how much one wishes for it. Instead of rushing toward an endpoint, the journey invites a deeper discovery of self, one that exists beyond fear and past conditioning. In that process, there is a quiet realization that growth happens in small, imperfect steps. Learning to care for personal needs and choosing oneself, even in uncertain moments, becomes evidence that healing is already taking place.

 

Along the way, long-held beliefs begin to shift. The fear of being unlikable slowly gives way to the understanding that being seen does not always lead to rejection. There is also the discovery of capability, finishing what was once abandoned, and recognizing intelligence that was always present but never acknowledged. 

 

Time will pass regardless, and that truth brings a sense of urgency to the work. The choice is not about waiting for healing to feel complete, but about continuing the process while life moves forward. Even with its difficulty, the journey offers something irreplaceable: the chance to finally know and accept oneself. In that sense, the process itself is not just necessary, it is meaningful.

 

In this episode, I’m welcoming you back to The Black Mother Wound Podcast and into Season 3 as we begin a new chapter with the Black Effect Podcast Network. I reflect on how this space started as my personal journey and share what ten years of healing my mother wound has taught me, especially that healing takes time and is rooted in getting to know yourself. I opened up about the beliefs I had to unlearn and how creating a safe space within helped me grow. As we step into this season, I’m inviting you to not just listen, but to do the work and choose yourself.

 

“Healing, as hard as it has been, it has been worth it, I would do it all over again.” – Jennifer Arnise

 

Topics Covered:

01:11 — Episode Snippet

01:30 — Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast (Season 3 Opening)

02:17 — Joining the Black Effect Podcast Network

05:44 — 10 Years of healing the mother wound

07:03 — Why healing cannot be rushed

08:22 — The journey is the gift 

11:05 — Lesson #1: People will like me if they know me

13:49 — Lesson #2: I can finish things

16:22 — Lesson #3: I am smart

19:04 — Lesson #4: Nothing is wrong with me

21:49 — We are worthy of love and happiness

22:48 — Healing requires new experiences

24:12 — Creating a safe space within yourself

25:28 — Healing is bard, but worth it

27:05 — What to expect in season 3

28:42 — Be an implementer, not just a listener

 

Key Takeaways:

“Getting there is not the gift. The journey is the gift because what you get is an opportunity to get to know yourself.”

“You can’t undo 20, 30, 40, 60 years of abandonment, of rejection, of wounding in 6 months, in a year.”

“If you are getting to know yourself, if you are building a better relationship with yourself, then you are on the right track.”

“Do not judge where you are so quickly, give it time to cook.”

“It took me learning to accept and like myself for me to realize that it’s safe for people to know me.”

“I created a safe space for myself where I wasn’t going to berate myself for not knowing and that made all the difference.”

“All the things were always there, I just thought they weren’t valuable.”

“The biggest part of healing is new experiences, you have to give your brain new evidence.”

“Treat yourself like you are an explorer in a new kingdom, even if you’re in the same place.”

“Be who you are, get what you want, have the life that is in your heart.”

 

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

 

www.jenniferarnise.com

IG: @ iamjenniferarnise

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