Ep 088: Oversharing, People-Pleasing & Identity Confusion

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

 Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

***************************************

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2.  Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE Evolved Today

***************************************

“Keeping the peace isn’t peace. It is self-erasure.”

For many people healing the mother wound, peacekeeping became a survival skill. It meant staying small, agreeable, and easy so no one else exploded. It worked when we were young, but in adulthood it begins to feel like disappearing. Oversharing often comes from the same place: giving too much in hopes of being seen or accepted, mistaking exposure for connection.

The shift begins with honest noticing. Before explaining, pleasing, or revealing too much, we pause and ask, “What am I hoping to get right now?” This small moment interrupts old survival habits and teaches our inner child that safety is not earned through performance.

With practice, boundaries take the place of peacekeeping, discernment replaces oversharing, and clarity softens guilt. Healing becomes less about controlling how others feel and more about refusing to abandon ourselves. Slowly, peace stops being something we manage for others and becomes something we build within.

In this episode, I’m answering listener questions about oversharing, keeping the peace, and identity. We talk about oversharing as a form of seeking approval, how “peacekeeping” leads to self-abandonment, and why guilt shows up when you stop managing other people’s emotions. If you’re tired of performing or pleasing just to feel accepted, this episode breaks down what choosing yourself really looks like. 

Topics Covered:

00:00:00 – Episode Snippet: “Who is the peace for?”

00:00:12 – Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

00:01:32 – Q #1: Is oversharing during healing a sign of seeking validation?

00:03:53 – Oversharing is a form of self-abandonment

00:05:58 – Compulsion, fear, and lack of internal safety

00:07:19 – Q #2: How do I stop keeping the peace and choose myself?

00:09:44 – Knowing your needs before the moment

00:11:21 – Protecting your inner child with real boundaries

00:13:09 – Q #3: Am I acting from authenticity or guilt?

00:14:03 – The habit of performing instead of being

00:15:14 – Authenticity requires self-prioritization

00:17:03 – Building a new sense of safety

Key Takeaways:

“Any oversharing is you seeking validation. It is giving something that people didn’t earn.”

“Prostitution is any exchange of who you are to get something in return.”

“Have integrity with yourself to be honest about what it is that I’m looking to get from these people and what I am afraid of.”

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise