Ep 085: How Not to Turn Into Your Mother

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"Sometimes the voice you fear the most is the one you carry inside yourself." 

It is the echo of criticism, impatience, or harshness that once shaped your earliest days. Many people don’t notice it until they hear that voice in their own words, in their reactions, or in the way they judge themselves. The patterns you vowed never to repeat can creep in quietly, showing up as control, overworking, or self-sacrifice. These are survival strategies learned in the absence of safety, not signs of failure, yet they can quietly repeat the harm you once endured.

Healing begins with noticing. Every moment of frustration, every urge to overcorrect or withdraw, is a clue pointing back to the inner child who was never fully seen or protected. Slowing down, listening, and learning to respond with care to that child is how the cycle begins to break. 

In this episode, I’m answering your questions about inner child healing, emotional identity, and why the patterns you’re trying to break keep showing up. As we close out the year, we talk about celebrating your wins, learning what real love actually feels like, and what happens when you ignore the mother wound and end up abandoning yourself. We get into re-parenting the inner little girl, unlearning harsh behaviors, and releasing overworking and self-sacrifice as proof of worth. If you’re ready to stop living in survival mode and start choosing yourself, this one matters.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:13) Welcome to the Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:00:52) Celebrating personal wins

(00:04:57) Q1: How does ignoring the mother wound lead to self-abandonment?

(00:07:05) Q2: How do you teach yourself love if you have never experienced it?

(00:09:14) True love is safety

(00:10:55) Q3: How do you stop behaving like your mother in your marriage?

(00:14:13) Behavior is the fruit, not the root

(00:14:32) Q4: How do you stop repeating patterns of overworking and self-sacrifice?

(00:19:58) Your situation is not unique

(00:21:03) Releasing shame and reframing healing as skill-building

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

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