Children Don't Need Perfect Parents, Just Present Ones

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What if the most powerful mental health intervention was simply asking someone "How are you?" and truly listening to their answer? Dr. Iran McGann, psychologist and former Israeli military officer, has built his life's work around this deceptively simple approach.

From his unique perspective as someone who served in a country where "being a veteran isn't really a thing because everybody's a veteran," Dr. McGann bridges worlds that rarely intersect. He draws compelling parallels between military and medical cultures—both demanding heroism, suppressing vulnerability, and facing alarmingly high suicide rates. This insight led him to create Early Alert, an innovative suicide prevention system that texts regular wellness check-ins to vulnerable populations, connecting them with resources when needed.

Dr. McGann's work extends deeply into family dynamics, particularly through his organizations Parenting for Humans and Divorcing Dads. He challenges our focus on tactical parenting problems, instead emphasizing relationship quality: "The better the relationship, the easier everything is." His approach to supporting divorcing fathers addresses a critical gap in mental health services, noting that men experience significantly higher suicide rates during divorce than women, largely due to isolation and lack of support networks.

Perhaps most powerfully, Dr. McGann reframes our understanding of how divorce affects children. "What's bad for kids isn't divorce—it's conflict between parents," he explains, advocating for children to remain children during family transitions, not messengers, spies, or judges between warring parents. His practical guidance reminds us that self-care (particularly adequate sleep) forms the foundation for healthy relationships, and that small daily "deposits" of attention and respect build the connection children need to thrive.

Join us for this illuminating conversation about connection, mental health, and the profound impact of asking someone how they're doing—and caring enough to listen to their answer. Whether you're a parent, veteran, healthcare provider, or simply someone who values deeper human connection, Dr. McGann's insights will transform how you approach your most important relationships.

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