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Dr. Bhrett McCabe | How to Crush the Silent Killer of Your Confidence

podcast August 29, 2022

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Did you know that anxiety is the most common mental illness in the U.S.?

Over 40 million adults suffer from it. 

So, chances are, you’ve either dealt with it or are dealing with it. 

And if you’re anything like me, when it strikes, your confidence is CRUSHED.

It can also lead you down the depression hole. 

In today’s episode of the Coming Up Clutch with J.R.™ show, I have a very real and transparent conversation with licensed clinical and sports psychologist, podcast host, and founder of The MindSide, Dr. Bhrett McCabe, about anxiety and what we can do about it.

But that’s not all we get into. In this latest episode, Dr. Bhrett and I talk about…

  • The four characteristics behind Nick Saban’s competitive edge
  • The silent killer of your confidence and sense of self-worth
  • What separates the Top 10 U.S. Open finishers from the rest of the field every year

…and so much more.

If you want to prevent anxiety from wreaking havoc in your life and career so you can win at the highest levels, then lock in to today’s episode.

 

[00:01 – 16:43] Introducing Dr. Bhrett to the Show

  • Dr. Bhrett’s most embarrassing moment and the lesson learned from it
  • Dr. Bhrett’s story and background

 

[16:44 – 23:48] The four characteristics behind Nick Saban’s competitive edge

  • #1: Demands greatness –  you better be prepared and ready to go
  • #2: Prioritizes mental health
  • #3: Thoughtful – he cares
  • #4: He listens and he learns

 

[23:49 – 44:14] The silent killer of your confidence and sense of self-worth

  • Anxiety is a silent killer because we have a negative triad happening…
    • #1: Unrealistic standards
    • #2: Growing responsibility of perfectionism
      • Perfectionism is wonderful until it causes problems…until you can’t control the factors of your success anymore
      • Drive to CONTROL everything…leads to…
        • FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
        • Fear of failure
    • #3: Never getting a break in life (we’re living ALWAYS ON)
    • END RESULT: hopelessness and lack of control, which leads to depression
  • Strategy for overcoming anxiety
    • Adopt the “I can face anything” mentality
    • Stephen Hayes’s acceptance and commitment-based therapy (ACT)
      • “I can accept anything that comes my way and commit to a plan to work through it.” 
      • Turn towards anxiety as an interested observer and say…
        • ACCEPT
          • “Tell me how you feel.” What do I feel? 
            • If we resist or try to block anxiety, it will just come back harder
            • => “I am _______ (insert feeling)”
          • “Ok, what does that mean?” I tend to get _________ (e.g. frustrated, etc.)
        • COMMIT – how am I going to lean into that today?
          • For Bhrett, it’s breathing

 

[44:15 – 47:41] What separates the Top 10 U.S. Open finishers from the rest of the field every year

  • How they handle pressure is the separator 
  • Bhrett’s Success Formula: 
    • #1: Skills and talent – how do you apply skills under pressure?
    • #2: Know how pressure impacts you physically, mentally, in decision-making, and how gritty you are
    • #3: Mentally flexible – ability to adapt (e.g. Scotty Schlefter reframed his bogeys as “No big deal. Others are bogeying, too”)
    • #4: Can handle luck
      • Have to know who you are
      • Have to get more visual vs. technical

 

[47:42 – 54:01] How often strained relationships derail mental and emotional focus

  • Outside of Success Formula (above), your partner is the most important factor to your success
  • Common mistake spouses make is that they put pressure on a competitor and take the decision tree away from a competitor

 

[54:02 – 57:13] Wrapping Up

  • Dr. Bhrett’s BIG domino
  • How to connect with Dr. Bhrett

 

KEY QUOTES

“Great leaders will stand and make the decision…and then OWN IT.” – Dr. Bhrett McCabe

“You have to earn a ticket to the dance in order to lead the dance.” – Dr. Bhrett McCabe

“Confidence isn’t believing that you can do something, confidence is believing that you can endure everything.” – Dr. Bhrett McCabe

 

CONNECT WITH DR. BHRETT

 

CONNECT WITH J.R. 

 

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

 

SHARE this episode with someone who wants to be challenged, pushed, and positioned to come up clutch more often.

 

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