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Entrepreneur

Dr. Amber Selking | Win Your Mental Game

podcast December 19, 2022

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Which type of person are you…

 

#1 – Wants to win and will do whatever it takes to win? 

 

OR…

 

#2 – Wants to win and hopes things will work out in your favor?

 

I’m guessing you’re #1, right?

 

I hear a lot of “I’ll do whatever it takes, J.R.” from people, but when it comes to the mental and emotional work required for winning consistently, they slack off. 

 

The reality is, our thoughts affect our emotions…

 

Our emotions affect our body, and…

 

Our body is what drives our performance and behaviors.

 

They’re links in the same chain. If one link is broken, the whole chain is.

 

I unpack this further on today’s episode of the Coming Up Clutch with J.R.™ show with human performance expert, sports psychologist, and author, Dr. Amber Selking.

 

In this latest episode, Amber and I talk about…

 

  • What we need to be aware of when it comes to mental and emotional fitness
  • How to make your team better through a common language around emotional fitness
  • What’s a must to improve our daily mental health

 

…and so much more.

 

If you want to be better positioned to win more often, then don’t miss today’s episode.

 

[00:01 – 10:32] Introducing Dr. Amber to the show

 

  • Amber’s most embarrassing moment
  • Amber’s background, story and professional journey

 

[10:33 – 14:43] What we need to be aware of when it comes to mental and emotional fitness

 

  • Thoughts affect our emotions…our emotions affect our physiological responses (HR, muscle tension, visual field, hormones, etc.)…how our bodies are will drive our performance and behaviors
  • Many times, we recognize our emotions or physiological responses FIRST (instead of our thoughts), but we can move up and down the chain (i.e. thoughts, emotions, physiological response) 
    • Emotions are the most volatile in the chain (vs. thoughts and behaviors)
    • Your emotions drive and often undermine the very thing you’re trying to accomplish. If you care about winning, then you need to understand how your emotions help you win or make you lose. Then, take action about it.
    • We can talk about emotions in a non-emotional way.

[14:44 – 28:11] How to make your team better through a common language around emotional fitness

 

  • Get systems in place that allow the language and messaging to be replicated on a consistent basis
  • Leaders with a system can talk about it holistically and in an organized way. They’re able to dissect more easily what went well and what didn’t
  • Must have clarity around your vision, mission, and process for success, and then being courageous enough to stick to it for the long-term so your people can actually get on board with it
    • How to teach your people to demonstrate more courage? Starts with identity. Leaders must know the answers to… 
      • Why do you do what you do?
      • What are you core values?
      • What’s your general philosophy on leadership, winning, etc.
      • What do you want to accomplish?
      • How do you want to be remembered?
    • …Then, make sure everything is aligned with those things 

 

[28:12 – 31:36] The distinction between mental illness and mental health and what we need to be more aware of

 

  • Resource: The Science of Happiness (Ted Talk by Sean Aker)
  • Anxiety & depression (illness) vs. mental health (practices, like gratitude, meditation, etc.)
    • Anxiety and depression is a mindset – it’s a protein pattern that gets wired into our brain based on what we think about
    • Most of the drugs treating mental illness were originally set for patients coming out of surgery – the drug masks the protein pattern. When you take the drug away, it’s still there

[31:37 – 45:58] What’s a must to improve our daily mental health

 

  • We have to have processes in place to train our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual areas of life
    • Amber’s analogy: we don’t go to the gym 1x and be good for the year. Just like we train physically, must train mentally, emotionally, and spiritually
  • Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual are actually our four energy systems – we must know what drains and what fuels them
    • Includes evaluating your habits – you may have habits that helped you in one season that are now hurting you in your current season. Life is a series of seasons. We must make sure our routines match the season we’re in.
    • Accountability – you need people that will watch your life, call you out if you’re shooting at the wrong basket, and help you make in-game adjustments to be the player and the person that you’re trying to be 

[45:59 – 49:26] Wrapping Up

  • Amber’s BIG domino
  • How to connect with Amber

 

KEY QUOTES

“Your emotions drive and often undermine the very thing you’re trying to accomplish.” – Dr. Amber Selking 

“If you care about winning, then you need to understand how your emotions help you win or make you lose.” – Dr. Amber Selking 

“Life is a series of seasons. We must make sure our routines match the season we’re in.” – Dr. Amber Selking 

“You can choose to think right.” – Dr. Amber Selking

 

CONNECT WITH AMBER

 

 

CONNECT WITH J.R. 

 

RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review

 

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