485: How to Forgive What Hasn’t Happened

In today’s episode, we are discussing how to forgive what hasn’t been. Fights are more obvious times to work on forgiveness but what about the missed bids for connection and absence of touch? Join our hosts as they share how to have healing conversations about the lost connection. Laurie and George relay that this experience is grief and a deep pain that needs to be shared in partnership. Often a conversation like this may activate the negative cycle as the hurt partner might fear further rejection and begin by criticizing. Their advice is to get into the pain and begin to ask your partner for their help to heal. As the listener, sex might have been off the table for a variety of reasons and you may notice a defensive reaction. George shares something that works in his relationship, to take a pause and keep the focus on his partner. Healing is sequential and can’t happen all at once. Slow and steady, remaining focused on one partner’s pain can shift a couple into forgiveness as resentment from missed moments is heard, seen and cared for. What has been missing from your relationship that has caused you pain? Today’s episode will help you and your partner get started on the path to forgiveness. 

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