The embarrassing truth of dating men

What’s it like to date a man? Ask pop stars or your friends, and you might hear it’s a struggle.

From Sabrina Carpenter to Summer Walker, some of the biggest female artists on the charts today…are absolutely through with men. It’s a sentiment that has a name: heteropessimism. Coined in 2019 by the writer Asa Seresin, the term encapsulates the embarrassment, disaffection and fatigue that comes from being heterosexual. 

“Men are trash” music that reflects these feelings isn’t new, but NPR Music editor Hazel Cills says it’s making a comeback. So what makes this time different? And what can we learn from this moment’s heteropessimism about the realities of dating men today?

(0:00) How Heteropessimism went mainstream
(4:21) What makes this “Men are trash” moment different than the past?
(7:55) What do women want from their relationships?
(14:59) How long will we be in the “men are trash” era?

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