Ep 152: Katherine Morgan Schafler | The Perfectionist's Dilemma and how to balance your high standards with your happiness

Happy Women's History Month 2024! What does it mean to be a perfectionist? Is it a blessing or a curse? How does it affect your relationship with money, yourself, and others? In this special solo episode, Kiersten chats with Katherine Morgan Schafler, a psychotherapist and coach who helps people overcome perfectionism and live authentically. 

They talk about the different kinds of perfectionism, how social and historical forces shape them, and how they can be harnessed for good or bad. They also dig into the role of money in self-actualization, the link between self-worth and spending, and how to set financial goals that align with your values. Finally, they share some tips on how to break free from the cycle of self-punishment and embrace your flaws and strengths. In this episode, Katherine Morgan Schafler shares her insights on punishment vs. discipline, defining ‘enough,’ and balancing values and legacy.

Links: 

• Buy Katherine's book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power 
• Follow Katherine on Instagram or visit her website 

Here are some key takeaways from this conversation:

• Perfectionism is not a monolithic trait. It can be adaptive or maladaptive, depending on how it affects your well-being and performance 
• Money can be a tool for empowerment, but it can also be a source of anxiety and insecurity. It’s important to understand how your self-worth influences your spending habits and financial decisions 
• Setting good financial goals requires knowing what you value and what you appreciate. It also requires being honest with yourself about what you need and what you want.
• Self-worth is not the same as self-esteem. Self-worth is about what you believe you deserve, while self-esteem is about what you think about yourself. Both are influenced by your social and cultural context.
• Breaking the cycle of self-punishment involves meeting yourself with compassion and understanding. Punishment only teaches us to avoid the source of punishment, while discipline seeks to extinguish negative behaviors through the promotion of positive behaviors.
• To define ‘enough,’ start by identifying what is not enough for you and then determine what is enough on a survival level and what makes you feel good. Then, compare your current situation with your ideal situation and see what gaps you need to fill.
• Balancing values and legacy involves understanding what you value, how those values show up in your daily life, and what you do not value. It also involves thinking about how you want to be remembered and what impact you want to have on the world.

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