112. Pleasure, Kink, and BDSM With Shelby Terrell

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jessica reconnects again with Shelby Terrell, an intimacy coordinator and current MSW Candidate, on the path of becoming a sex and relationship therapist. They explore the experiences of growing up as Mormons and the challenges of reconciling their personal beliefs with the faith. They candidly discuss the shame associated with sexuality, particularly masturbation, and how it affected their self-perception and relationships. Likewise, they emphasize the importance of embracing vulnerability to promote healing and personal growth. Deconstructing traditional relationship norms, they share their own journeys of self-discovery and finding fulfillment outside societal expectations. Shelby opens up about her marriage coming to an end, and the episode also touches on the concept of an ideal relationship, the benefits of couples therapy and deeper understanding of vulnerability’s power in breaking down barriers and cultivating meaningful connections.

In this Episode of Open Late:

the Experience of Growing Up as a Mormon

The Nuances of Self-Gratification and difference between private vs shameful

Deconstructing Conventional Relationship Ideals

Embracing Self-Discovery and Sexual Fulfillment

Exploring the Realm of Kinky and BDSM

Previous Episode with Shelby:

On-Screen Intimacy Coordinator Shelby Terrell: Open Late Episode 85

Connect with Shelby Terrell:

• Instagram: @theshelbyterrell

Connect with Jessica:

• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast

• Website: openlatepodcast.com

• YouTube: Open Late Podcast

• What’s my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz

• Join our free chat community, “Open Talks” on WhatsApp

• Open Late Dictionary

2:30 A lot of the public school policies, such as dress codes and the cultural environment of the schools, were based on Mormon protocols, ethics, and values. There was a lot of shame and judgment and guilt placed on it because as a socialized female woman growing up in Utah, my job is to be a partner and procreate. – Shelby Terrell

8:50 People who grew up in a purity culture often find that shame manifests itself in various ways. For some, it’s a struggle, while for others, it leads to acting out. – Jessica Esfandiary

9:37 I was using the guise of privacy, what I thought were private matters. In reality, I was being secretive and carrying a sense of shame. I convinced myself that labeling something as private would justify it, but upon reflection, I realized it was driven by my feelings of shame. – Shelby Terrell

25:09 We had a threesome, and it was really wonderful and great. And then afterwards I was immediately like “We can’t tell anyone”.When they asked why, I responded, ‘This is my private life.’ It was at this point that the distinction between shame and privacy became evident, and I realized the impact of my sexual trauma from growing up Mormon was resurfacing. – Shelby Terrell

36:14 With the ongoing revolution of sexual expression, positivity, education, and the exploration of non-monogamy and polyamory, one can hope for a positive impact rippling through those who are curious but may have been hesitant due to their more traditional inclinations. As a result, relationships in general could potentially become significantly healthier. – Jessica Esfandiary

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