022: An African Father’s Divorce Story W/ Anonymous aka Olufemi

In this episode, we continue shedding more light on the story of divorce from a man’s perspective. But before that, I just want to make this clear – the purpose of this podcast is not to encourage divorce especially in situations that can be mended. The goal is to challenge the stigma of divorce, using lessons from real-life stories and to encourage anyone who is facing an unrepairable marriage to not feel trapped in the fear of judgment and know that there is life after divorce. 

I will be talking to an old friend who has chosen to be anonymous and will go by the name Olufemi – Femi for short. He chose to become anonymous because there are children involved. If you want to catch up with Femi’s story and how it ended up in divorce, please refer to Episodes 20 and 21 in the podcast directory.

[00:01 – 03:16] Opening Segment

• I Introduce our guest, Olufemi

[03:16 – 17:54] The Divorce Decision

• Olufemi shares what was the deal breaker
• The internal and external pressures to stay marriage

[17:54 – 31:12] The Divorce Process

• Going to numerous Court Sessions
• Producing countless documents
• The effect of divorce on the kids
• The cost of divorce 
• The constant twists and turns 

[30:12 – 40:45 ] Life as A Single Man & Lessons Learnt

• The healing process
• Putting the kids first
• Transitioning to being a single father
• Lessons learnt about Self Control
• Other lessons learnt

[40:45 – 54:06] What Olufemi Would Have Done Better & Conclusion Remarks

• Olufemi gives important keys we need for healthy relationships.
• Host Anyoh Shares some lessons she also took from the discussion
• Olufemi gives his final remarks.

Tweetable Quotes:

“I also learned that we need to find ourselves and be comfortable by being with ourselves before we go into relationships.” – Anonymous (Olufemi)

“You can’t give what you don’t have – you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself.” – Anyoh Fombad

“Discernment can come through instincts or the guts and we need to pray for deeper discernment so we make better decisions.” – Anyoh Fombad

“I learned that the highest form of control is self-control because without it – you’ll mess everything up.” – Anonymous (Olufemi)

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You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).