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How do you meet the needs your mother never met? There is no perfect parent, just as there is no perfect human. Some parents were unable to provide for their children materially and financially. However, there are needs that surpass those things, which we often neglect and set aside. Every person has emotional needs such as tenderness, patience, grace, understanding, and acceptance. When emotional needs are left unmet, they can significantly impact our behavior toward others and, especially, toward ourselves. Most people in this situation tend to mirror the rejection they received from others, being hard on themselves, and even neglecting the healing they truly need.
Healing from the needs your mother never met is never easy. It takes small, committed steps of self-care and self-control. It means letting go of and unlearning the habits you have become accustomed to. It involves spending time with yourself and seeking quietness to hear yourself clearly and understand your needs. It can also mean trusting yourself and being patient and appreciative of your progress. Remember, it's not your fault for what happened to you, but it's your responsibility to fix it. Stop blaming your parents, even if you have the power to, because healing cannot prosper there.
In this episode, I will guide you through the essential steps of recognizing and addressing your unmet needs.
“You're only healing if your life is changing and your life can only change when you take different actions." – Jennifer Arnise
Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:02:29) The unmet emotional needs
(00:05:05) The role of quietness in nurturing unmet needs
(00:06:39) The inability to advocate for oneself
(00:08:43) Getting honest about self-treatment
(00:10:06) The habit of self-tenderness
(00:11:58) Create a habit of appreciation
(00:13:32) Healing work takes time
(00:15:07) Building self-trust through budgeting
(00:16:38) Take small actions that build up your life
(00:17:23) What does it mean to reparent yourself?
(00:20:19) Through the Battleground to Freedom
(00:22:12) Commit to yourself
(00:23:19) Healing work can be lonely
(00:24:12) The benefit of meeting your unmet needs
Key Takeaways:
“Healing your mother wound is not about you and your mother, it's about you and you." – Jennifer Arnise
DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.
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