TakeAways from Brene Brown’s TED TALK -Power of Vulnerability, https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare
Are you willing to let go of who you should be, to be who you are ?
The Values of Vulnerability:
1.Courage
2.Compassion
Note to SELF: Vulnerability is necessary!
What does being Vulnerable look like?
Do something when there are no guarantees !
Willingness to invest in something and get nothing in return !
Things to Consider when practicing being Vulnerable
Stop controlling and predicting , learn to be presence.
Here are some of the Cons of being vulnerable: Shame and Fear of not Belonging!
Here are the Pros of being vulnerable: Joy, love, happiness!
We Numb Vulnerability!
We don’t want to feel these negative feelings!
We can not selectively numb!
We are miserable because we are looking for purpose & meaning !
We want to make the uncertain certain !
The more afraid we are the more vulnerable we are !
Blame has an inverse relationship with accountability !
Blame is discharging anger !
Do you look for someone to blame? hmm, so Who’s fault is it ??
Blame: A way to discharge pain and discomfort.
We want to perfect everything. We often leave no room for error.
We must become the change we want to see.-Mahatma Gandhi
Empathy is feeling with and sympathy is feeling for
Sharing something vulnerable is expressing what do you need. For example, do you need:
- Eye contact
- A Hug
- Physical stay away
- Say something back right away
- Stay quiet
Emphatic Responses most often do not start with “at least “ be aware of this ..
Gender considerations and Vulnerability
Perception of weakness =Men
Perception of perfection (roles /tasks) =Woman
Understanding we have to support each other & that’s the path to intimacy.
A woman who does not derive her power from the man can sit with him while he’s in deep vulnerability.
#Intimacy is a human need. Communication is not connection. Connection is rooted in being able to be vulnerable.
Men need to consider not being the “All knowing all Power (Oz) and relinquishing the need to fix it !
In the absence of love and belonging, there’s suffering.