What do you do when the person you married starts sounding like someone you never would’ve chosen?
In Episode 277, a 21-year-old listener writes in about getting married at 19… and feeling like her husband is unrecognizable now 😔.
They bonded over faith, culture, and shared values — even agreeing they’d never become “patriots.”
But after he joined the military and found community in a new environment, she says his beliefs shifted hard.
The jokes, the politics, the worldview, even the way he talks about people… it all feels like a different man 💔.
Now she’s stuck between two real fears: staying and slowly losing herself 🫥, or leaving and grieving a marriage she thought would be godly and lasting 🕊️.
She’s asking if it’s possible to raise kids in a home with split values, how to navigate someone you love when your convictions don’t match, and whether divorce is a wild thought… or a necessary one.
We talk honestly about what it means to navigate deep value differences inside a marriage, how to move carefully when emotions are already high 🧠, and why you can’t pretend something this deep is “just politics.”
💬 Join the Conversation
Have you ever had to navigate major value differences with someone you love?
What helped you communicate without shutting down — or blowing up?
Drop your thoughts in the comments 👇🏽
📚 Resources & Links
Father Yourself First
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555
Release Rest Remain
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO
Premarital Advantage
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2
Yvette’s Email List
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list
Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646
Black Men’s Meeting
https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?
Big A## Calendar
https://bit.ly/4rkZIE7
HMAY Amazon Storefront
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US
❤️ If this helped you, like the video, subscribe, and share it with someone navigating marriage, identity shifts, and hard conversations.