What do you do when your partner’s “boundaries” start feeling like control?
In Episode 279, a listener writes in about being engaged to a woman who reacts strongly anytime other women are around. On a group trip, she told him to keep his distance from one woman she believed was staring at him. When that same woman ended up sitting next to him in an Uber, his fiancée texted him to move his legs away from her. Later, after a group dinner where he made casual conversation, she told him he violated her boundaries just by speaking to her.
He admits he has been dishonest in the past about women (though he says he has never physically cheated), and he understands that history has impacted trust. But now he feels anxious in public, avoids interactions with women altogether, and is wondering where the line is between respecting your partner’s boundaries and being managed by their insecurity.
We talk about what boundaries actually are versus what control looks like, how trauma and betrayal can create hypervigilance, and why trust cannot be rebuilt through constant monitoring. We also get into shared responsibility in relationships, how to communicate about triggers without making your partner responsible for your internal turmoil, and why this has to be addressed before marriage, not after.
Have you ever been in a relationship where “respect” started to feel like walking on eggshells?
Resources & Links
Release Rest Remain
https://a.co/d/ihBmSdO
Father Yourself First
https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555
Yvette’s Email List
https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-list
Release Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646
Black Men’s Meeting
https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?
Premarital Advantage
https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2
HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate)
https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US