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Former First Lady Myesha Chaney: “It Was Either DIE… or LEAVE”

Black Podcasting - Former First Lady Myesha Chaney: “It Was Either DIE… or LEAVE”

Watch NOW: https://youtu.be/z95pMkW24Gk

Hey family, Willie Moore Jr here, and welcome back to the Love You More Show.

This episode is for anybody who’s ever been in a relationship where you were doing everything… but still felt unseen. I sat down with Myesha Chaney, author, speaker, singer, and yes… a former First Lady who lived her life in front of the world on platforms like Preachers of L.A.

And she kept it all the way honest: the pressure, the identity, the performance… and the moment she realized she couldn’t keep surviving off optics.

We talk about:

• Why counseling “too late” can’t undo years of emotional neglect

• The difference between love and love with action

• How childhood trauma shows up in marriage

• Why church culture can celebrate you one day, then forget you the next

• And what it really takes to heal until you don’t have a scab… you’ve got a scar

And family… in a season where the internet has been loud about pastors, platforms, and marriages, including what people have been discussing publicly around Jamal Bryant and his wife, I wanted this conversation to bring balance: accountability, healing, and truth… without the gimmicks.

If this episode blesses you, do me a favor:

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And remember… don’t just love people. Love you more. Flatout!

00:00 Intro: “Love You More” + why this convo matters

01:14 Willie’s welcome + mission of the show

02:00 Who is Myesha Chaney (author / speaker / former First Lady)

03:30 Reality TV + “relationship goals” pressure

04:20 Willie’s counseling story + icebreaker song “Clockwork”

06:55 “We went to counseling too late”

07:30 Childhood + growing up with instability & fear

09:00 Marrying what felt familiar

10:15 “I avoided conflict by being perfect”

11:30 Healing the way you were raised vs how you were made

12:15 “I didn’t face this until I was 40”

13:36 “I never felt safe”

14:50 Rock bottom → deciding to finally do the work

15:48 Pastor’s wife pressure + letting people down

17:17 “I’m not dealing with this anymore”

18:02 Cutting ties + “Too much of my life was controlled”

18:48 “It was either die or leave”

19:05 Accountability: boundaries + over-functioning

20:27 Willie’s reflection: providing vs protecting her confidence

21:12 Malicious or oversight?

22:38 Going to therapy alone

23:44 “Sometimes it’s over before it’s over”

25:45 Mediation + choosing truth over optics

27:22 “I needed love with action”

29:03 What “action” love looks like (real examples)

30:31 Flowing in masculine + carrying the burden

33:19 Why it wasn’t sustainable for life

34:12 How couples can renegotiate roles (healthy script)

36:25 Pastor’s wives reaching out privately

38:13 Church hurt + conditional love

41:13 Motherhood + protecting the kids’ faith

44:17 Doing the work + standing ten toes down

46:40 Myesha’s message to someone in pain

48:05 Willie’s close: scabs vs scars + healing perspective

49:44 Final encouragement + “Love you more”

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