In this powerful conversation, Life Coach Jelan Agnew, LCSW shares how ICU-level burnout during 2020 became her wake-up call to design life on purpose. She walks us through the mindset shifts that took her from overachievement and overload to presence, sobriety, and self-permission—ultimately moving to Mexico and reshaping her work from one-to-one therapy into coaching, workshops, and speaking. We unpack her “empty notebook” and baseline frameworks, why perfection is just avoidance in a cute outfit, and how focusing on feelings first (not the resume or the how) opens unexpected doors.
What you’ll learn
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Baseline > Busyness: How to stop the thousand‑miles‑per‑hour train and rediscover what you actually like, need, and value now.
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Empty Notebook Method: Starting fresh—without old labels—to write the next chapter of your life.
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From Therapy to Coaching: Reframing impact: serving more people through workshops and speaking while protecting your well‑being.
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Feelings First: Why we chase titles/things for the feeling—and how to design from the feeling instead.
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Perfection = Avoidance: Giving yourself permission to be clumsy, new, and vulnerable.
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Sobriety & Mindfulness: Removing substances to find your emotional baseline and practicing presence to notice what truly fits.
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Permission Slips: The power of support (shoutout to therapy) and learning to give permission to yourself.
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Red‑Jeep Phenomenon: Put awareness on what you want and watch the signals appear.
Conversation highlights (guide, no spoilers)
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Why both of us moved to Playa del Carmen—and how geography can catalyze growth
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Jelan’s ICU wake‑up call, burnout in 2020, and choosing a different way
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Baseline vs. busy: stopping the train and meeting yourself in the present
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The guilt of leaving a long career—and reframing impact
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Mindfulness, sobriety, and rebuilding identity
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Feeling over formulas: designing for joy, freedom, safety, and community
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Perfection as avoidance; being willing to be “clumsy on purpose”
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Self‑permission and the role of a great therapist in big moves
Memorable quotes
“I can help people, and it doesn’t have to be at the expense of myself.” — Jelan Agnew
“Perfection is avoidance.” — Jelan Agnew
“You have the option to make a choice before you get sat down.” — Jelan Agnew
“Create the version of me that does that.” — Jelan Agnew
“The how is none of your business.” — Jelan Agnew
Try this: Listener challenge
Grab an empty notebook (or open Notes) and complete these:
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I want to feel… (one sentence)
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Where do I already feel that today? (list 2–3 moments)
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What micro‑ritual amplifies it this week? (one action—breath, rest, or presence)
Bonus: For the next 7 days, put your awareness on this desire (hello, red‑Jeep effect) and notice what people, ideas, or invitations show up.
Resources & mentions
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Click here for Jelan’s TED Talk (on mental health in the Black community)
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Book: The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
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Book: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
(We’ll add direct links on the episode page.)
Connect with Jelan
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Website: https://www.nalejofselfllc.com/
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nalejofself
Connect with Elayne
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Instagram: @elaynefluker
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/
- Website: elaynefluker.com
Spread the support
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